EnigmA Amiga Run 1995 October/EnigmA AMIGA RUN 01 (1995)(G.R. Edizioni)(IT)[!][issue 1995-10][Aminet 7].iso/Aminet/util/misc/SelectCookie.lha/CookieFile

Text File | 1993-03-18 | 31KB | 1,081 lines

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Acceptance without proof is the fundamental characteristic of all religions.
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Any code of your own that you haven't looked at for six or more months,
might as well have been written by someone else.
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Always remember that you are unique.  Just like everyone else.
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A bachelor is a selfish, undeserving guy
who has cheated some woman out of a divorce.
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A candidate is a person who gets money from the rich and votes from the
poor to protect them from each other.
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A bore is a man who deprives you of solitude
without providing you with company.
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A chicken doesn't stop scratching just because the worms are scarce.
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A closed mouth gathers no feet.
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A competent and self-confident person is incapable of jealousy in anything.
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A computer's attention span is only as long as it's power cord.
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A conservative is a worshipper of dead radicals.
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A dirty mind is a terrible thing to waste.
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A fail-safe circuit will destroy all others.
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A fool and his money are soon parted.
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A fool must now and then be right by chance.
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A fool plunges ahead with great confidence.
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A good scare is worth more to a man than good advice.
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A liberal is someone too poor to be conservative,
and too rich to be a communist.
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A nod is as good as a wink to a blind horse.
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A penny saved is ridiculous.
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A perpetual holiday is a good working definition of hell.
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A person often meets his destiny on the road he took to avoid it.
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A sharp tongue and a dull mind are usually found in the same head.
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A Smith & Wesson beats four aces.
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A statistician is a person who draws a mathematically precise line
from an unwarranted assumption to a forgone conclusion.
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A system tends to grow in terms of complexity rather than of
simplification, until the resulting unreliability is intolerable.
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A transistor protected by a fast acting fuse will
protect the fuse by blowing first.
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A wise man gets more use from his enemies than a fool from his friends.
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A wise man has something to say, a fool has to say something.
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A wish is a desire without an attempt.
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According to the latest official figures,
43% of all statistics are totally worthless.
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Acting on a good idea is better than just having a good idea.
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Adding manpower to a late software project makes it later.
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After a number of decimal places, nobody gives a damn.
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After things have gone from bad to worse, the cycle will repeat itself.
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Age and treachery will always overcome youth and skill.
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Age is a high price to pay for maturity.
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All animals are created equal, but some animals
are created more equal than others.
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All general statements are false.
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All great ideas are controversial, or have been at one time.
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All in all, you're just another brick in the wall....
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All's fair in Love and War
 (Is there a difference?)
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All religions issue Bibles against Satan, and say the most injurious
things against him, but we never hear his side!
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Always draw your curves, then plot the data.
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Always remember that strength is obtained by meeting resistance.
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Ambition a poor excuse for not having enough sense to be lazy.
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An easily understood workable falsehood is more useful
than a complex incomprehensible truth
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An experiment may be considered successful if no more than half the data
must be discarded to agree with the theory.
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An optimist believes that we live in the best of all possible worlds,
the pessimist FEARS it's true.
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An optimist is one who makes the best of it,
when he gets the worst of it.
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An unbreakable toy is useful for breaking other toys.
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Anarchy is better than no government at all.
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Any government that is strong enough to give the people everything they
want is a government that's strong enough to take it away.
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Any program will expand to fill available memory.
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Any sufficiently advanced technology is indistinguishable from magic.
    - Arthur C. Clarke
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Any system that depends on human reliability is unreliable.
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Anything can be made to work if you fiddle with it long enough.
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Apathy is the worlds fastest growing disease. But who cares?
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Appearances often are deceiving.
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Attitude determines your altitude.
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Average is as close to the bottom as to the top.
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Attitude determines your altitude.
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Brain fried -- Core dumped
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Be careful of your thoughts, they may become words at any moment.
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Be careful what you wish for, you might get it.
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Beauty may only be skin deep, but ugly goes clean to the bone.
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Beauty times brains equals a constant.
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Being born was just the first of my crimes.
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Beware of all enterprises that require new clothes.
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Beware of altruism.  It is based on self-deception, the root of all evil.
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Beware of programmers who carry screwdrivers.
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Big Brother is Watching!
    - George Orwell
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Bigamy is having one spouse too many.  Monogamy is the same.
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Boycott Jane Fonda.
(everyone hates Jane Fonda, don't they?)
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Bureaucracy is the art of making the possible impossible.
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By perseverance, the snail reached the ark.
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California has it's faults.
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Calculation never made a hero.
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Change is certain, progress is not.
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Character is what you know you are, not what others think you are.
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Coles Law:  Thinly Sliced Cabbage
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Colorless green ideas sleep furiously.
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Colorless green odors gravitate furiously.
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Computer hackers do it all night long.
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Computer modelers simulate it first.
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Computer programmers don't byte, they nybble a bit.
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Computer programmers know how to use their hardware.
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Computers are not intelligent.  They only think they are.
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Confession is good for the soul, but bad for the career.
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Confusion creates jobs!
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Create the impression that you have already reached your level of incompetence.
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Don't put animals with sharp teeth or poisonous fangs down the
front of your clothes.
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Don't worry if it doesn't work right. If everything did, you'd be out of a job.
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Defeat is never fatal unless you give up.
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Do not remove a fly from your friend's forehead with a hatchet.
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Do not count your chickens before they are hatched.
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Do not tell big lies.  Small ones can be just as effective.
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Don't crush that dwarf, hand me the pliers.
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Don't ever slam a door, you might want to go back.
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Defeat never comes to any man until he admits it.
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Delusions are often functional.
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Democracy is based on the assumption that a million men are wiser than one.
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Desperate men do desperate things.
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Digital circuits are made from analog parts.
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Do someone a favor and it becomes your job.
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Don't force it, get a larger hammer.
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Everything needs a little oil now and then.
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Everything you know is wrong.
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Eliminate government waste no matter how much it costs.
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Enough research will tend to support your theory.
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Established technology tends to persist in spite of new technology.
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Even the boldest zebra fears the hungry lion.
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Even the smallest candle burns brighter in the dark.
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Every dog has his day.
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Every man has the right to be wrong in his opinions,
but no man has the right to be wrong in his facts.
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Every man must row with the oars he has.
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Every purchase has it's price.
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Every solution breeds new problems.
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Everyone hates me because I'm paranoid.
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Everything is worth what it's purchaser will pay for it.
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Expenditures rise to meet available income.
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Experience enables you to recognize a mistake when you make it again.
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Expert advice is a great comfort, even when it's wrong.
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Facts are stubborn things.
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Facts do not cease to exist because they are ignored.
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For every action, there is an equal and opposite government program.
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For whatever reason, be it historical, or oppression, or what have you,
there are an awful lot of not too bright women.
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Forgive and Remember.
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Form never follows function.
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Friends come and go, but enemies accumulate.
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Garbage In -- Gospel Out.
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Goto: A programming tool that exists to allow structured programmers
to complain about unstructured programmers.
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Give your child mental blocks for Christmas.
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Good advice usually works best when preceded by a bad scare.
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Get yours while there's still some left.
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Goals are dreams with deadlines.
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God does not play dice.
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God made the integers, all else is the work of man.
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God may be subtle, but he isn't plain mean.
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Good fences make good neighbors.
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Government can't change the course of the ship, it merely adjusts the compass.
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Government isn't the solution, it's the problem.
    - Ronald Reagan
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Government is an association of men who do violence to the rest of us.
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Gun control is being able to hit your target.
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Hackers do it with fewer instructions.
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He who praises everybody, praises nobody.
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How can you be in two places at once, when you're nowhere at all?
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Habit is stronger than reason.
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He that would first govern others, first should be a master of himself.
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He who dies with the most toys, wins!
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He who has a shady past knows that nice guys finish last.
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He who has the gold makes the rules.
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He who hesitates is sometimes saved.
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He who is ignorant of the past, is condemned to repeat it.
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He who loses his head is usually the last one to miss it.
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He who pays the piper calls the tune.
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He who rows the boat generally doesn't have time to rock it.
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Health is merely the slowest possible rate at which one can die.
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Help Stamp Out and Eliminate Redundancy
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Hindsight is an exact science.
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History repeats itself.
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Human beings are consistently inconsistent.
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Humpty Dumpty was pushed.
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If all else fails, immortality can always be assured by spectacular error.
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If a listener nods his head when you're explaining your program, wake him up.
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Idiot Box: The part of the envelope that tells a person where to
place the stamp when they can't quite figure it out for themselves.
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It's easier said than done.
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It is not enough to succeed.  Others must fail.
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If you understand what you're doing, you're not learning anything.
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If you knew what you were doing you'd probably be bored.
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If it doesn't kill you, it will make you stronger.
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Imagination is the one weapon in the war against reality.
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Investment in reliability will increase until it exceeds the probable cost
of errors, or until someone insists on getting some useful work done.
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It seems like the less a statesman amounts to, the more he loves the flag.
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If you make people think they're thinking, they'll love you.
But if you really make them think they'll hate you.
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It is not enough to kill an adversary, he must first be dishonored.
    - Russion Revolutionary Sergei Nechayev
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It is only the shallow people who do not judge by appearance.
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If you push something hard enough, it will fall over.
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If you don't care where you are, then you ain't lost.
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It is easier to fight for one's principles than to live up to them.
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It is important for our friends to believe that we are unreservedly
frank with them, and important to friendship that we are not.
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I already came, so stop jerking me off.
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I don't know, I don't care and it doesn't make any difference.
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I know that you believe you understand what you think I said, but I
am not sure you realize that what you heard is not what I meant.
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If at first you don't succeed, redefine success.
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If at first you don't succeed, try someone else.
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If god didn't exist, it would be necessary to invent him.
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If it can't be expressed in figures, it is not science; it's opinion.
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If it weren't for the last minute, nothing would get done.
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If rats are experimented on, they will develop cancer.
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If she's Snow White, then I must be Grumpy.
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If tempted by something that feels "altruistic",
examine your motives and root out the self-deception.
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If the facts do not conform to the theory, they must be disposed of.
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If the opposite of pro is con, what is the opposite of Progress?
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If there is an opinion, facts will be found to support it.
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If things were left to chance, they'd be better.
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It works better if you plug it in.
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If you can't get the answer in the usual manner,
start at the answer and derive the question.
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If you can't measure it, I'm not interested.
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If you can't win, make the one in front of you break the record.
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If you consult enough experts, you can confirm any opinion.
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If you do something right once, someone will ask you to do it again.
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If you don't know where you're going, any road will take you there.
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If you resolve to give up smoking, drinking and loving, you don't
actually live longer, it just seems that way.
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If you want to get along, go along.
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If you're coasting, you're going downhill.
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If you've got 'em by the balls, their hearts and minds will follow.
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If you're strong enough, there are no precedents.
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Ignorance is Bliss!
    - George Orwell
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In any collection of data, the figure most obviously correct,
beyond all need of checking, is the mistake.
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In the act of loving someone, you arm them against you.
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Indecision is the basis of flexibility.
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Individualists Unite!
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Inflation is one form of taxation that can be imposed without legislation.
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Injustice anywhere is a threat to justice everywhere.
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Instead of putting others in their place, put yourself in their place.
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Integrity has no need of rules.
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Interchangeable parts won't.
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It is better to risk saving a guilty man, than to condemn an innocent one.
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It is the loose ends with which men hang themselves.
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It's bad luck to be superstitious.
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It's better to be a lion for a day, than a sheep all your life.
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It's better to keep your mouth shut and appear stupid,
than to open it and remove all doubt.
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It's fascinating how memory diffuses fact.
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It's hard to detect good luck, it looks so much like something you've earned.
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It's not easy taking problems one at a time, when they refuse to get in line.
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It's pretty hard to be efficient without being obnoxious.
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Jury -- Twelve people who determine which client has the better lawyer.
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Join the march to eliminate regimentation.
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Law enforcement officials are a highly paid group of volunteers that
enforce upon the general citizenry laws that they themselves,
and those of their choosing, can disobey with impunity.
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Loose lips, sink ships.
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Love stinks.
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Law, without force is impotent.
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Life is tough, life is tougher when you're stupid.
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Mathematicians do it in theory.
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Man is the only animal that can remain on friendly terms with the
victims he intends to eat until he eats them.
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Mediocrity thrives on standardization.
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Man created god in his own image.
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Many people lose their tempers merely from seeing you keep yours.
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Men get mad and get it over with, women hold grudges forever.
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More people have died in Ted Kennedy's car than from nuclear power.
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Most men who run down women are usually running down only one woman.
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Most problems partially defined are problems partially solved.
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Murphy was an optimist.
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Murphy's Law:  If anything can go wrong, it will.
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No other person has the right to decide what is moral (right or wrong) for you.
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Never underestimate the power of a small tactical nuclear weapon.
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No snowflake in an avalanche ever feels responsible.
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Never try to outstubborn a cat.
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Nothing happens to you that hasn't happened to someone else.
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Never test for an error condition you don't know how to handle.
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Never, ever use repetitive redundancies.
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Negative expectations yield negative results,
Positive expectations yield negative results.
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Never forget what a man says to you when he's angry.
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Never let hold of what you've got, until you've got hold of something else.
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Never let the fear of striking out get in your way.
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Never look behind you, something may be gaining on you.
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Never program and drink beer at the same time.
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Never sleep with anyone crazier than yourself.
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Never trust anyone that volunteers to assume authority.
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Never try and teach a pig to sing, it wastes your time and annoys the pig.
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Never underestimate the power of human stupidity.
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New Jersey?  What exit....
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Ninety percent of everything is bullshit.
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No action is without side effects.
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No amount of genius can overcome a preoccupation with detail.
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No good deed goes unpunished.
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No man's life, liberty or possessions are safe while the
legislature is in session.
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No one can make you feel inferior without your consent.
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No one really knows enough to be a pessimist.
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Nobody really knows what is going on anywhere in your organization.
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Not all men are fools, some are bachelors.
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Nothing is certain except death and taxes.
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Nothing will be attempted if all possible objections
must first be overcome.
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Old programmers never die.  They just branch to a new address.
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Of the choice of two evils, pick the one you've never tried before.
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Once bitten, twice shy.
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Of all the forces acting on man, change is the most
beneficial and the most cruel.
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Of all the things I've lost, I miss my mind the most.
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Old age is not so bad when you consider the alternatives.
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Once you eliminate the impossible, what remains is the solution,
no matter improbable it may seem.
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Once you open a can of worms, the only way to re-can
them is to use a bigger can.
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One man's wage rise is another man's price increase.
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Only God can make a random selection.
(Even though the computer randomly chose this message)
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One of the few rules of evolution is that extreme specialization
results in eventual extinction.
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Optimization hinders evolution.
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Politicians do it to Everyone.
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Paper is always strongest at the perforations.
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Parkinson's Axioms:  Officials want to multiply subordinates.
              Officials make work for each other.
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Passwords are implemented as a result of insecurity.
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People are divided into two groups, the righteous and the un-righteous,
and the righteous do the dividing.
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People don't plan to fail, they fail to plan.
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People who say they're willing to meet you halfway are often
poor judges of distance.
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Possessions increase to fill available space.
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Power means not having to respond.
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Pray for the success of atheism.
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Problems are only Opportunities in Disguise.
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Program complexity grows until it exceeds the capability of the
programmer who must maintain it.
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Real programmers don't write in BASIC.  Actually, no programmers write
in BASIC after reaching puberty.
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Real programmers don't comment their code.  If it was hard to write,
it should be hard to understand.
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Real Users never use the Help key.
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Real Users find the one combination of bizarre input values
that shuts down the system for days.
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Real Users never know what they want,
but they always know when your program doesn't deliver it.
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Replace repetitive expressions by calls to a common function.
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Reality is the only obstacle to happiness.
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Reading is sometimes an ingenious device for avoiding thought.
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Reality is for those people who can't cope with drugs.
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Reality is the illusion produced by an alcohol deficiency.
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Reality is the leading cause of stress,
among those that are in touch with reality.
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Religions revolve madly around sexual questions.
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Remember the turtle, he never makes any progress until he sticks his neck out.
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Reputation is character minus what you've been caught doing.
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Rust Never Sleeps.
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Some men are alive simply because it is against the law to kill them.
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SHIFT TO THE LEFT!  SHIFT TO THE RIGHT!
POP UP, PUSH DOWN, BYTE, BYTE, BYTE!
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Sooner or later, the worst possible set of circumstances is bound to occur.
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Strike while the iron is still hot.
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Statistics are no substitute for judgement.
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Standing in the middle of the road is very dangerous,
you get knocked down by the traffic from both sides.
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Storms make trees take deeper roots.
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Sometimes the fool who rushes in gets the job done.
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Sometimes it's easier to do it yourself.
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Sacred cows make great hamburgers.
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Say no, then negotiate.
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Schizophrenia beats being alone.
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She cried, and the judge wiped her tears with my checkbook.
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Shirley's Law:  Most people deserve each other.
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Shit Happens.
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Social legislation cannot repeal physical laws.
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Software stands between man and his machine.
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Sometimes you just gotta say "What the fuck!"
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Sometimes you step in it, and sometimes you don't.
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Sooner or later you must pay for your sins.
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Statistical analysis has often meant the manipulation of ambiguous data
by means of dubious methods to solve a problem that has not been defined.
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Stupid people shouldn't breed.
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The world is coming to an end ... SAVE YOUR BUFFERS!!!
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The superfluous is very necessary.
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Unionism has carried the American ideal to its illogical conclusion.
Not only do they prohibit discrimination on the grounds of race, creed
and color, but also on ability.
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The reasonable man adapts himself to the world.
The unreasonable man persists in trying to adapt the world to himself.
Therefore all progress depends on the unreasonable man.
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The best defense against logic is ignorance.
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To a Real Woman, every ejaculation is premature.
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The trouble with doing something right the first time is that nobody
appreciates how difficult it was.
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Think twice before speaking, but don't say "think think click click".
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Test makers do it sometimes/always/never.
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The more advanced the civilization, the less powerful the individual.
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The mind is like a parachute, it works better when it's open.
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The most useful program will be continually improved until it is useless.
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The error-detection and correction capabilites of any system will serve
as the key to understanding the type of errors which they cannot handle.
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The attention span of a computer is as long as its electrical cord.
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The only difference between a rut and a grave is the depth.
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TRAPEZOID - A device for catching zoids.
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Taxes are not levied for the benefit of the taxed.
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Technological man can't believe in anything that can't be measured,
taped or put into a computer.
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Thank God, we're not getting all the government we're paying for.
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The best laid plans of mice and men are usually equal.
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The best way to destroy an enemy is to make him your friend.
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The best way to succeed in politics is to find a crowd that's
going somewhere and get in front of them.
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The field of probability is too important to be left to chance.
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The final test of a gentleman is his respect for those who can be
of no possible use to him.
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The first rule of intelligent tinkering is to save all the parts.
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The first myth of management is that it exists.
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The future isn't what it used to be.
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The generation of random numbers is too important to be left to chance.
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The government that governs least governs best.
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The greatest American superstition is the belief in facts.
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The greatest of faults is to be conscious of none.
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The greatest masterpiece of literature is only a dictionary out of order.
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The greatest productive force is human selfishness.
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The hidden flaw never remains hidden.
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The knowledge that a secret exists is half the secret.
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The lack of money is the root of all evil.
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The liberal paranoids (if that's not redundant) are at it again.
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The man who invented the guillotine died under it's knife.
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The most dangerous of untruths, are truths moderately distorted.
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The number of people in any working group tends to increase
regardless of the amount of work to be done.
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The other line moves faster.
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The person who knows everything has a lot to learn.
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The pessimist complains about the wind, the optimist expects it to change,
the realist adjusts the sails.
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The price of greatness is responsibility.
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The probability of being watched is proportional
to the stupidity of your actions.
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The probability of failure is directly proportional to the
anxiety of the programmer.
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The real world is a special case.
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The right half of the brain controls the left half of the body.
This means that only left handed people are in their right mind.
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The road to hell is paved with good intentions.
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The secret of success is sincerity, learn to fake it and you've got it made.
%%
The solution to the problem, changes the problem.
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The solving of a problem lies in finding the solvers.
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The sum of intelligence on the planet is constant, the population is growing.
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The supply of government exceeds the demand.
%%
The ten most feared words in the English language are:
"Hello, I'm from the government and I'm here to help...."
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The trouble with the rat race is that even if you win, you're still a rat.
%%
The world wisely chooses happiness over wisdom.
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The worst form of inequality is to try and make unequal things equal.
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The worst thing in the world, next to anarchy, is government.
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There are no winners in life, only survivors.
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There are two reasons for doing things, a very good reason and the real reason.
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There are white lies, damn lies and statistics.
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There is more to fear from an army of 100 sheep led by a lion,
than an army of 100 lions led by a sheep.
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There is no heavier burden than a great potential.
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There is no point in being proud of something you have no control over.
%%
There is no greater wrath than a woman scorned.
(or one that thinks she was)
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There is no limit to how bad things can get.
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There is no such thing as a fail-safe design.
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There is no such thing as a "free lunch".
(only a choice of restaurants)
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There is no such thing as a little garlic.
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There may be times when we are powerless to prevent injustice,
but there must never be a time when we fail to protest it.
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There's three sides to every story, yours, mine and the cold hard truth.
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Those who don't study the past will repeat it's errors.
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They never remember when I'm right and never forget when I'm wrong.
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Time is natures way of making sure that everything doesn't happen at once.
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Time rarely proceeds at a pace perceived by the individual as appropriate.
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To love is to be vulnerable.
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To make an enemy, do someone a favor.
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To think is easy and to act is hard, but the hardest thing in the
world is to act in accordance with your thinking.
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Today is the day you worried about yesterday.
%%
Tolerances will accumulate uni-directionally toward
maximum difficultly to assemble.
%%
Total paranoia is perfect awareness.
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Trust everyone, then cut the cards.
%%
Two farmers, each claimed to own a certain cow.  While one pulled on
it's head and the other on the tail, the cow was milked by a lawyer.
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Unity is a polite word for control.
%%
Unless you're the lead mule, the scenery is always the same.
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Violence is the last refuge of the incompetent.
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When Marriage is Outlawed, Only Outlaws will have Inlaws.
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What most people commonly call fate is mostly their own stupidities.
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When in doubt, tell the truth.
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When in doubt, power down.
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When in doubt, take all the defaults.
%%
Who is John Galt?
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Wasting time is an important part of life.
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When in doubt, don't bother.
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Whenever you find yourself on the side of the majority,
it's time to pause and reflect --- Mark Twain
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Walk softly and carry a big stick.
%%
Watch out where the huskies go and don't you eat that yellow snow.
%%
We, the willing , led by the unknowing
are doing the impossible for the ungrateful.
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We cannot imagine how our lives could be more frustrating or complex,
but congress can...
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We have met the enemy and he is us.
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Wear the right costume and the part plays itself.
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What's the difference between Dan Quayle and Jane Fonda?
-- She went to Vietnam --
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What men learn from history, is that men do not learn from history.
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What's the difference between marriage and a gun? --- The gun is faster.
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Whatever hits the fan will not be evenly distributed.
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When all else fails, lower your standards.
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When all else fails, read the instructions.
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When does a system administrator do the first backup?
The first day on the job after the system administrator who never did.
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When guns are outlawed, only outlaws will have guns.
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When in doubt, predict that the present trend will continue.
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When it gets to be your turn, they change the rules.
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When people are free to do as they choose, they usually imitate each other.
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When regard for the truth has been broken down or even slightly weakened,
all things remain doubtful.
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When two men in business always agree, one of them is unnecessary.
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When two people meet to decide how to spend a third person's money,
fraud will result.
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When working toward the solution of a problem,
it always helps if you already know the answer.
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When your opponent is down, kick him.
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Where all think alike, no one thinks very much.
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Why do divorces cost so much?
-- Because they're worth it! --
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Why is it that all the women that are against abortion,
no one would want to fuck anyway???
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What the hell, go ahead and put all your eggs in one basket.
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Wisdom consists of the anticipation of consequences.
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Whoever has any authority over you, no matter how small,
will atttempt to use it.
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Xerox never comes up with anything original.
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You can make it foolproof, but you can't make it damn foolproof.
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You are better off not knowing how sausages and laws are made.
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You aren't drunk if you can lie on the floor without holding on.
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You can achieve more by patience than talent.
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You can close your eyes to reality, but not to memories.
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You can go wrong by being too skeptical
as readily as by being too trusting.
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You can have peace or you can have freedom.
Don't ever count on having both at once.
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You can observe alot just by watching.
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You can tune a piano, but you can't tuna fish.
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You cannot successfully determine beforehand which
side of the bread to butter.
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You can't antagonize and influence at the same time.
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You can't become a martyr every time you get ticked off.
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You can't expect to hit the jackpot if you don't put
a few nickels in the machine.
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You can't fix it if it ain't broke.
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You can't fall off the floor.
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You can't win, you can't break even, you can't even quit.
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You cannot help men permanently by doing for them what they
could and should do for themselves.
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You cannot help the poor by destroying the rich.
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You cannot lift up the wage-earner up by pulling down the wage-payer.
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You cannot strengthen the weak by weakening the strong.
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You have not converted a man because you have silenced him.
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You have taken yourself too seriously.
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You know you're in trouble when you can't stand folks who are intolerant.
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You'll find sympathy between shit and syphilis in the dictionary.
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Your enemy is never a villain in his own eyes, keep this is mind.
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You're never alone with a schizophrenic.
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You can't guard against the arbitrary.
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You never know what is enough until you know what is more than enough.
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You can't hold a man down without staying down with him.
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You know you've been spending too much time on the computer when your
friend misdates a check, and you suggest adding a "++" to fix it.
%%